So it’s a late night. I can’t sleep because I have a thousand and one thoughts running through my head. I have learned an extremely important lesson tonight that I believe will shape the way I view men from here on out. I have read books on this subject, I have heard sermons of the same accord, but we all know that learning things from experience is the glue that helps it stick. I have made a profound discovery, men and their work. Ladies, listen close. You can probably relate to the fact that women do not feel more feminine by a long hard days work. Manicures, a good cry, or rocking a baby to sleep may have you walking away being glad to be a women. Not many of us would feel dainty after a long day in board meetings or greasing up a pair of overalls but that’s what makes a man feel like a man. Men identify with work. Work is a way of providing for their loved ones. It’s an avenue for respect from other men and it allows them to grow through skills that will make them feel more apt to take on the tasks ahead.
Let’s look back for a second to where it all began. The famous Adam and Eve. They set the stage for the design of men and women, of husband and wife. When God made Adam, the first thing He had Adam do was… you guessed it, work! When God made Eve, He made her with the purpose of being a mate, so that Adam would not be alone. I’m sure Eve helped name some of the animals and probably even milked a cow or two in her day, but she was Adams helper first and for most. It’s embracing what makes him different and celebrating those differences. Eve did set some good examples for her future sisters. Don’t disobey God, and respect your husbands. If he is a good strong godly man, trust in his ability to make the right decisions about his job. Ladies, being a mate is more than just saying “I Do”, “welcome home honey” and “babe can you take the trash out?”, it’s encouraging, supporting, and learning when you keep your mouth shut and let your man be the man he was designed to be.
Encouraging: Words can make or break anyone’s spirits but imagine if your spouses words concerning your looks, the way you are raising your children, or your personality were negative and harsh. Take for instance a husband who never compliments his wife after she spent all evening getting ready for a night out. She walks out feeling radiant, proud for having prepared herself for her man only to hear “you ready?” and that’s it. The defeat and pain would stay with her long into the night and possibly throughout her life. The same could be applied to a man who spends time and effort working to provide for a wife who discourages him. Maybe it’s never praising his efforts at all or it may be comments about the lack of money, the way he is being treated, or the encouragement to just quit. We need to refrain from such attitudes and words. Some encouraging phrases may be as simple as “I’m so proud of you” or “thank you for working so hard to provide for me and the kids” or even “you’re a wonderful man, my hero, I appreciate you so much”. Those few words can go so far, but just as good words go far, negative ones can brand in the pain. Watch your words.
Supporting: Supporting comes in lots of forms (this I have learned from very personal experience). It’s not just being a cheerleader on a good day or celebrating a promotion, but its listening and keeping a positive attitude during the hard times. Maybe it’s a job loss, maybe its just a bad day, but I can tell you that encouragement and supporting go hand in hand when your man needs you to just be there. They may already know that their job is not ideal and that it may be time to move along. Support them where they are at right now and the decision they make when/ where they want to go.
Keeping your mouth shut: I know I’m sure to ruffle some feathers here but hear me out. Today’s female is opinionated, out spoken, and stereotyped as “always right”. Girls, we all know we aren’t. But even if we think we know the best way to resolve the problem for men in the work place, this is His battle. We need to know when to just BE and not be heard. If asked for your sincere opinion by all means offer it. We ladies like to talk things out. We already have the problem solved in our head, but getting it out helps too. Most men do not identify with this. They may be venting, and it may take time, but they need to rely on God to help fix the problem. If we are always trying to be the voice he hears, when are we leaving time for God to speak?
Pray: I can not stress this enough. The only One powerful enough to give you godly words of encouragement, to show you what true support looks like and wisdom to know when you keep you mouth shut is God. The only one strong enough to carry the burden of the painful times when He is struggling in his job is God. And the only true peace you will feel is the peace that He provides when you ask. He will help carry you through. His love will surround you and sooth your heart when your husband may take his bad day out on you. Give it to God and God will love you as well as your husbands. Your man belongs to God first and for most. Let God have His time to work, you be his prayer warrior. He may never know you’re doing it and that’s alright. It will grow you as a women making you feel like more of a women than any manicure could provide!
Books I encourage you to read:
Power of a Praying Wife- By: Stormie O’Martian
For Women Only- By: Shaunti Feldhahn
Starting Your Marriage Off Right- By: Dennis & Barbara Rainey
HA!).
The Virtuous Lily 